i sit by the window that pours in pure sunlight. there is such peace here. i am a little weary of poetic descriptions of where i am, what i am doing. (i blame it on excessess)  but somethings are just truly, phenomenally, beautiful. and then if i use the word beautiful too often, its not my fault. how else shall i begin writing about this incandescent moment but place it in the serenity and calmness of maitraban. a moment of candid conversation with the self. perhaps not a conversation, but a moment of seeing the self, existing wholly, trully, as it is, in the blue quiet water below. and when this moment lingers in the heart, even the laptop screen reflects me, exactly as what i am.

 at such moments, most certainly, there is a feeling of incompleteness. of a lack. i realized though, as i saw ten thousand stars blinking in the night sky, that there is no urgency to fill this blank, that life's strongest and most intense moments are in waiting. waiting with dignity, waiting with hope, waiting with persistent growth, waiting without helplessness, waiting without sorrow. there is a rhythm to life one can't dream of meddling with. how i admire that elephant there, slowly walking, with the burden of his being, with childlike innocence in his little eyes, slowly, steadily, like a King out on his journey, oh but without indifference! there is an acceptance of the world, of the people, of the soft breeze touching his eyelids, of the hard dusty ground he walks on. no, waiting is a wait only as much as a seed is a tree. there is happiness in being the seed too... i didn't know...